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Did that motivational quote just flip you the bird?? I THINK SO.

I’m sure you’re with me.  A few of your Facebook Acquaintances post weird “motivational quotes” that are more like passive aggressive, unmotivational words.

Yip, there are those bizarre memes like “If he’s not treating you like a princess, you ain’t got no time for that”.  I could have a field day with those memes but instead I want to look at the less-obviously-terrible ones.

You know, the ones that are actually on Pinterest when you type in “Motivation”.

These are the scary, potentially-quite-harmful ones.

The first thing to note when you type “Motivation” into Pinterest – it’s 99% weightloss related and there are a WHOLE lot of images of perky bums and tight abs.  I’m no psychologist, but I’m not so sure these #goals are doing the majority of women any favours.

But images aside, let’s have a look at some of the first quotes that came up in a cursory Pinterest search.

DISCLAIMER: SARCASM TO FOLLOW.

“The Fact that you aren’t where you want to be, should be motivation enough”

How is saying I should be motivated, motivation?  Don’t you think I’m reading motivational quotes because I’m not where I want to be?  And I’m not motivated?  So it’s not motivation enough?  That is just a big, middle finger.

“Today, be the badass girl you were too lazy to be yesterday.”

Hey…Did that motivational quote just call me lazy? Screw that motivational quote!

“Suck it up, and one day, you won’t have to suck it in”

Suck YOU, man.

“I’m working on myself
For Myself
By Myself”

OK, this one is a bit more subtle.  I’m all for working on yourself, but it’s the “By Myself” bit.  Why do you have to go it alone? Why is it just for you?  Don’t you think everyone else around you would be better off if you work on yourself?  Your partner?  Your kids?  Your colleagues?

“Your Biggest Competitor is your Memory”

WHAT DOES THAT EVEN MEAN???

“Losing weight is HARD. Being fat is HARD. Pick your HARD.”

If I lose weight, will I become a judgmental, fitness nut?  THAT seems hard.

“You are your only limit”

Guess I should totally give up then, I’m too confused.

“I don’t diet, I just eat according to my goals.”

Is it nice over there in Denial World?  The weather OK?

And my personal fave, a few picks from the list of:

“100 Things you can do Instead of Eating Mindlessly”

*PLEASE NOTE:  These things are totally FINE, it’s just that they’re not a great replacement for an instant snack

“Balance your checkbook”

Do people HAVE cheque-books these days??  Is this list aimed at 75 year old ladies?  And even then, I kind of think they’re using EFTPOS too.

(that’s how we spell Cheque in New Zealand)

“Get a Massage”

Oh no, I’m hungry!  Better hop in the car and hope a kindly masseur is available at no notice to rub me until my hunger pangs erode!  Even if it’s night time…

“Write in your Awareness Journal”

First note in my Awareness Journal would be – “I have an awareness journal? Oh God!”  Let’s re-write the very first “Motivational quote” at the top of this post.  “The Fact that I have an awareness journal should be motivation enough.”

“Read a child a book”

Any child? What if I don’t have a child? What if my child is in bed? Do I wake them?  Wouldn’t a better suggestion be for me to read a book?  But then I might gain knowledge… and work out how ridiculous these points are…

“Volunteer in your Community”

OK I want to mindlessly eat, it’s 7:30pm – quick! There’s a soup kitchen somewhere who needs someone to handle a ladle, right??

*Again, please note:  I LOVE the idea of volunteering – just not as a knee-jerk response to mindlessly eating.

“Kiss someone”

THAT’LL SOLVE ALL MY EMOTIONAL EATING PROBLEMS.

“Think”

I didn’t realise I wasn’t thinking?  Oh no!

“Check the Stock Market”

Where are my slippers & get me my pipe!

“Tell someone how you really feel”

I feel like the world needs less wishy washy motivational bullshit.

**PS: If this is your first time, you should totally check out my free e-mag!

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